October 23, 2014
sometimes i can't even find the words for all the things i want to tell you. all the things i want to help you understand, navigate, believe, and embrace. but today i have them, today i have words about grace.
because these last few days have been full for us.
they have been busy with unexpected things.
they have been messy with hard lessons.
they have been exhausting and discouraging and have left me feeling lacking as your mother immensely.
but i hope that you can look back on the busy and the hard and the difficult, and see that you are loved. i hope that you can see my many faults and weaknesses less than the fact of how strongly i love you, as i learn to navigate these waters of mothering, day after day.
i hope you remember these days with grace.
these past few days have been peppered with times when both of you have noticed moments where grace abounds, been affected by it in such sweet ways, and have extended it to me despite my countless imprefections.
and it has shown me yet again the power of the gospel.
the beauty of the gospel.
my need for the gospel.
and it has struck me to my core. and so, as i relearn how to cling to grace and give grace in these muddled days of emotion and training and loving and guiding, i hope that you remember the love and the kindness in the midst of the mistakes and the weakness.
i know you will remember the coffee, but i hope you remember the grace.