March 13, 2012

loving through [when the unexpected happens].

it's week three of the relationship series. and by now, i'm pretty sure this series was meant for me. haha. this week's topic is loving through, when the unexpected happens. in other words, through trials & hardships.


nick has been sick for the better part of our three years of marriage.

and for those of you that don't know, when i say sick, i mean sick. i mean on the verge of death more than once. i mean hospital stays that have left us on a first name, familiar basis with pretty much an entire wing of nursing staff.

i mean barely hanging on.

so what do you do, when your new life with the one you love most, spirals downward into a hard road of suffering? you keep living. and you keep loving.

people have said to me that it's a wonder that our marriage is stronger now than it was before this. that it wouldn't be unrealistic to find that strife and coldness had settled it's way in between our heartstrings. that it's a miracle we've made it this far.

but to us, there is no other option. no other end in sight.

when i pledged my life to my beloved, i did so with full intent of being by his side. and he by mine. in sickness and in health was specifically mentioned. if we were instead to give up at the first sign of difficulty (or even the second year of difficulty) i know that we would be cheating ourselves of what God has called us to. together.

to say that we have walked this out perfectly would be ridiculous. but i love this man. and when you love someone more than yourself, you love past the wrongs. past the sin. past the tiredness. past the discouragement. whether you feel it in that moment or not.

we have learned the importance of communication. if you are going through hardship in the midst of your marriage, i cannot stress this enough. once you let the lines of communication fall by the wayside, your heart can easily go with it. communicating might happen through tense strings of words, or streams of tears. but, it must happen.

this might all seem a bit naive & simplistic. but i've learned that when in the midst of such grueling life events, a simple mantra is sometimes all that you can handle. when you have the world crashing in around you, simplicity is all that keeps you sane.

we have learned much on this journey together. we have been strengthened through our weakness & our hurts. we have fallen into a deeper love because of it. there is depth because of the magnitude of emotions that we have had to deal with together.

so what do we do in those moments that seems so bleak? we keep living. we keep loving. and we thank God that we are able to walk through it. together.


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