on overcoming the lie (of perfection).

there's a lie that i've let myself believe for a long time. 
a lie that has left me feeling guilty, condemned, and defeated so many times. 

it's something that God has been slowly opening my eyes to, and it's more than partly the reason for my post about my new year's goals, and striving to be free.

because the lie of perfection is deadly. 

this thing we tell ourselves as women, that everyone else has it together, except for us. and that if we can somehow attain it, we will find joy.

for me, this notion of perfection coexists with comparison. oh, how quickly i compare myself to other women, both online and offline. sometimes consciously, sometimes not.

how they look. 

how they dress.

how put together they are, how organized their life is.

how many kids they have successfully birthed and raised.

how they care for their home, how they cook.

how well they bless and serve others.

how much better than me they are, at just about everything.
and how i am not.

and before i know it, i find myself in this place of coveting and discontent. wishing i were better, wishing i were more.

and it's exhausting. 

when we look to others as our standard, we turn their giftings into idols and their strengths into our own gods that are always just out of reach. it's wonderful, and i think important, to admire our sisters for their strengths and evidences of grace in their lives and be inspired to grow in similar ways, but we need to be careful not to put too much emphasis on the doing, lest we stifle God's work in our hearts and lives. 

and really, these women I compare myself to aren't perfect either. they are human. but even still, the truth that we need to embrace isn't that they don't have it all together either, but that the solution is found when we look to God for our definition of perfection and our solution for our imperfection.

because to God, being the perfect woman isn't as important as being a faithful one.

the good news is, he is perfect for us, and we are made perfect in him. because no matter how hard we try, we will never be perfect, this side of heaven. and how much freedom should come in believing that our savior knows our imperfections and loves us anyway. because he has ransomed us.

i want to live my life embracing where i am, so that i can move forward.

i want to remember that while all different, we all have our strengths and our struggles. 

i want to cling to grace, and be free to strive for the perfection that matters.

and let's be women that live this truth out daily. fully and wholeheartedly clinging to the cross, covered by his grace, and freed from the lies we so quickly let ourselves believe. free from the lies that will never bring us joy.

and lady, you are beautiful. 

you are fearfully and wonderfully made. 
and imperfect you is precious to him.

and he wants to make us whole. 

and he loves to make broken things beautiful.

by his grace, and for his glory.

love.

___

i'm taking part in Overcome the Lie's annual blog tour. it's such an honor to be a part of this series, to encourage women to rise up and overcome the lies so many of us fall victim to in our lives. be sure to check them out, because their heart for women is contagious. 

oh hey, 2014.

here we are, nestling into the new year, and i'm already behind.

i had plans of writing down my goals, dreams and hopes. i wanted to recount lessons learned and all the blessings and hardships the last year held for us. but none of that is finished, and really, it's barely started. but i'm throwing out the guilt of not being where i want to be, and embracing something new.

you see, my mind has been full these last few weeks, as the holidays kept us busy and the year came to a tiring close. i've struggled to wade through the thoughts and emotions swirling around me, i've found myself overwhelmed.

overwhelmed at the kindness of God seen so evidently in our lives this year.
in the blessing of our baby girl, who makes our hearts swell.
the blessing of a new job for nick, that starts on monday, and has answered so many of our long-suffering prayers and petitions.
the blessing of our marriage and that tomorrow marks five years with the man that loves me so well.
the blessing of so much grace in this year spent healing and recovering from years of trial, sickness and brokenness.
the blessing in finding myself again.

and this is when i realized that i want this year to be different. that i want to change how i see things, and how i see myself. because there is so much more for me to do. so much for me to take from the past few years and put it to use and live fuller and breathe deeper and grow better.

instead of resolutions or goals or lists (though some of those will still be part of life, for sanity's sake), i'm choosing a word that i want to be the theme of this new year.
an anthem of sorts.
that i want my life to show and my soul to breathe and my heart to embrace.

this year, i'm striving to be free.

free from the guilt that weighs on me when i don't do the things when or how i want.
free from self-pity and discontent when i feel i don't "measure up" to others.
free from comparing and condemning and from the lie that my merit is based in my perfection.

instead, i want to be free in who christ ransomed me to be. in the woman that God made me. freely found in the fact that i will never be perfect. free to love, and be loved. and, because of grace and my glorious savior, that's okay.

so here's to 2014. may it be blessed and full of freeness found in that beautiful grace.

love.