10.14.14

dear c and n--

life is going to be hard sometimes.

you've already experienced it in different ways--sickness and hardship and exhaustion has encountered our little family more than we would have liked. and still, as the years grow that you live this life on earth, more hard times will come.

but there is hope. 
because just as there is sweet in the hard, there is hope in the hopeless.
and there is grace for it all.

what i want most in the world for you is that as you grow, you grow in your love for--and faith in--God. that your hearts would always be tender towards his word and his grace and his redeeming love.

if i leave nothing else behind as my legacy for you, i hope that it is this--that you love well, that you live fully, and that you cling to the one that ransomed you, through all the things that come your way.

your hearts are large and your souls are sweet. both of you have such a joy and love within that radiates out and affects those around you in great ways. let these be what drive you in your efforts as you grow, and as your pursue the one that loves you perfectly.

you are precious to me.
you are precious to your father.
and you even more precious to the God that was kind enough to give you both to us.

dear ones, cling to one who gives us grace and redeems our souls to glory.
never lose hope.

love,
mama.

10.12.14

dear n--

you are such a gift.
the gift that came to us after the sorrow of loss--a promise of the faithfulness of God.

you bring us so much joy, every day.

watching you grow is a magical thing. you've fallen into a rhythm of living already, and your character is decided and formed and strong.

your little person is so full of life and love and glitter--
so much glitter.

i never knew someone so small could be so opinionated and sure of her what she likes (have i mentioned the glitter?). i love your feistiness and how ready you are to tackle the world and all it brings. i maybe do not love the fact that you refused to say mama until just a few weeks ago, but i admire your resolve. :)

despite your fiery independence, you are kind and sweet and you love to cuddle. and you love to give kisses to all your favorites. a lot of kisses. you love deeply and fully and are so aware of those around you.

_____

i hope you never lose that spirit and determination and the comfort you have in your own skin. these things make you so unique, and a joy to be around. there will be times ahead when there will be those that come try to push you down or take away the spark that makes you thrive. don't ever let them.

because you are gorgeous, inside and out. 

you, my sweet girl, are a passionate force in my life and those around you. and i am honored to be a part of your story.

love,
mama.

10.3.14

dear c --

the way you see the world is beautiful. at four years old, you live with such abandon, pursuing the things you love so fully and unashamedly.

you are you, fully.
you never measure yourself by others. and when others compare you, you are so beautifully unaware.
you don't even skip a beat.

and yet, your heart is so tender and always so fully open. though you act without worrying of what others think, you care deeply about consoling others when you sense that they are upset. you are quick to supply a concerned, kind word and a hug (and sometimes with freshly-cooked "pancakes" from your kitchen).

your ability to be so free and yet so sensitive to others is something that i admire so much. and is something that you have inspired me to grow in, just by being you these four years.

i hope this is something that you never outgrow. and i hope that as the years go on, you will always see the best in those around you, and that you always lack the self-awareness that can so quickly hinder your passion and the freedom to be yourself.

we live in a world that so quickly tries to conform you to external standards, but those standards are so often times lacking any merit, and can so quickly steal your joy--don't ever give in to them. because the things that really matter are the things that God cares about in his children, and calls us to cultivate--a humble soul, a loving, gentle heart, and the freedom to pursue the passions he has given you fully and without shame, for his glory.

and these, sweet boy, are the things in which you excel.

you are my hero. it is such a joy to see the world through your eyes.

love,
mommy.

10.2.14

dear c and n --

you two. 

where do i even begin? you are the sweetest, kindest, strangest, most beautiful little people i have ever met. i don't think i will ever be able to express just how much you both have my heart, just how unique and beautiful and precious you are, or how proud i am of you.

but i'm going to try my best to tell you just that. every single day.

and i hope that when you look back on these years, the countless times you've heard it will be etched into your memories, and that you will never falter in your surety of knowing that you are loved fiercely by both of us, and even more by the God that entrusted you to us.

you have rocked our world and have grown our hearts in the best way possible. you are our greatest achievements.

love,
mama.

31 days of letters to my little loves.

lately, i've been working to be present in my day, to cherish the moments i have with these sweet blessings i've been given, while trying to pour as much love and encouragement and thoughts and life into each of them.  it has been a busy but sweet season of connecting with each of them, but it has left me feeling a little discouraged in a particular way.

there are so many times in the day that my heart bursts with things i want to tell them, but these long days of the little years leave my words meaningless to these little minds that can't yet grasp them. i have such a passion to be a champion to each of them, to build them up in order to set them loose on this world and make much of it. and i know that the season for that will come soon enough (and probably quicker than i want it), but i don't want to forget these years and the words that are for them, and have been for them in these little years, before it's here.

and there's the reality that i don't know how much of their lives i'll be here for--i have learned that there is no guarantee of decades of life lived together in this world. and so i don't want to waste the days (and the words) i've been given.

and so today, i am taking the first step to act on this passion that's been stirring. i want to leave them years of words and prayers and my heart written out upon pages for them, to have no matter where their lives take them.

i want them to know that i have loved them since the beginning, and i want them to see themselves the way i see them. beautiful, stunning, fierce, compassionate, strong, and lovely.

and so this is where i'm going to start. i'm joining up in the 31 day writing challenge, committing to write every day for the month of october. i'm sure many days will be not much more than snippets of our day, or prayers for their future, or maybe just a blubbering mess of a mama heart that overflows when i catch a glimpse of them. and there will probably be days that i miss, but this is my first step in doing something that's been on my heart for some time. something is so simple to execute but has been put on the back burner for other (and many times less important) things.

so, here goes nothing. :)

love.

p.s. if you're joining in on the 31 day challenge, i'd love to hear what you're writing on!

to find the rest of the posts in this series, click on the sidebar image.