how quickly things change.

i wrote this just a few months ago. it's the first poem i've written in over a year. oh, it felt good to write.

i don't want to be here. 

i don't want to be here, in room 7023.
this new room greets us with an odd familiarity.
the mirror image of our second home floods my vision,
while unwanted memories dig into my senses. 

i don't want to remember this pain that comes
in waves of moans and groans and seething breaths,
reflecting what's inside of him,
echoed in me. unending,
resonating, these recollections
stare me in the face. they are reality.
and each time i cringe. 

i can hardly stand these monotonous idle hours,
these ridiculous channels--
time passes here like a slow
dull creak on ancient floorboards
bereft of normal wanderings. 

even at this first encounter, i know it so well,
this mirror image. it remains a reminder of the pain, that
we have been here before. but,
we have been here before and left.
we may be here now, but we will leave. 

and my beloved will be alright.

____

and how alright he is. praise God for his faithfulness.

love.