12.19.13

"For it is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas,

 when its mighty Founder was a child Himself." 
— Charles Dickens (A Christmas Carol)

love.

*photo credit: misi photo

on hitting reset.

last night proved to be one not made of sleep.

the little lady is teething, and has been for weeks with no progress in sight. the poor thing wakes constantly, whining, moaning and wanting to nurse each time. my mama heart aches for her--she still has a sweet and happy disposition despite her discomfort, but she's had a go of it for sure.

this morning, I was tired. really, it was less graceful than that and more like haggard. my groggy, scratchy voice cut through the morning air in more ways than one as I snapped at coen for being too rough with his sister. even though he wasn't trying to be mean. 

oh, his face. and oh, my heart. 

my selfishness smacked me in the face, along with a reminder that I have countless reasons to be thankful, joyful even, in the midst of this sleepless season. one of these reasons was staring back at me, his eyes full of hurt.

I realized that I needed to hit the reset button. 

____

recently, I read somewhere (I wish I could remember where) about the idea--and sometimes the necessity--of "hitting reset" on your day. just starting it over, and letting the first attempt(s) go. I tend to fall easily into self-pity when I feel I've been less than I should, and this idea of just wiping the slate and starting fresh was revolutionary. but honestly I hadn't given much thought to it since.  

but today, I did. and then I had to hit it a few more times. but you know what? it worked. my attitude shifted, and my goal changed. it was no longer to have my children be quiet so I could rest, but that my speech and tone and actions were loving and my heart was thankful and that my children felt loved. 

this. this active pursuit of changing my thoughts to reflect what I know is right and who I want to be, is what I want to win out in those moments of weakness. to turn from my sin, instead of dwelling on it.

in my devotions this morning, I read this: 

"fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, and you are mine." 

- Isaiah 43:1b

I want to rest in this, remembering whose I am, and who loves me right where I am. I am his, despite how many times I have to start my day over. and I can start my day over, because I am his. 

love.

little bits of lately.

it feels as if we've been laying low and staying really busy all at the same time. but i think that might just be a new part of normal life with two little ones.

and, likewise, pretty much all of the snapshots i've gotten are of them, as well. :)

they are growing so quickly. coen is talking more and more (finally!) and his little personality is so funny. norah is out of control. she is huge, and is determined to be fully mobile as soon as possible (and by that, i mean soon). she loves her brother. and her daddy. and her toys. 

and her cat. he, on the other hand, is still mad that she exists. oh well.

becoming a family of four has brought its share of challenges, exhaustion, emotions and adjusting. but it has brought so much more that is good. we are reminded so often of the kindness of god when we peer into these smiling little faces. we can't help but swell with joy when we see our blessings before us--and how far he has brought us.

how grateful we are that we stand here today, and can attest to god's mercy and faithfulness in such a precious way.

love.

lately (in photos).

life has been busy. full of sickness, healing, growing, teething, adjusting, cars breaking down, overcoming, and loving. but really, i wouldn't have it any other way.

i'll be back soon. promise. 

love.