on seeing beauty in the next generation.

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."

― pleasefindthis   

i want my daughter to know that she's beautiful. 

as she grows, i want to impart to her the truth that she is a precious, gorgeous, cherished child of God. that her worth is in so much more than appearance. and that she just needs to look in the mirror to see a masterpiece of an incredible Creator.

i want her to be confident in who she is, and the person she is ever-being shaped into. i want her to feel blessed and adored, regardless of how well she fits in with the current standards of the world, because she is beautiful. 

i want her to embrace her God-given beauty in a way that magnifies what's in her heart, and the good things that her soul is made of. so that she will learn to bring beauty to those around her, rooted firmly in the love of her Father.

i want her to, in turn, look into others and see the beauty that resides in all of us. the intricate design that reflects a well-stayed, loving hand. the grace that is extended to all, and the beauty that each of us possess. 

i want her to know and believe that a joyful soul shines through the test of time on this earth and this fragile body that wears so easily. 

and do you know how she'll learn it (or not)?

how she will shape her worldview on beauty and womanhood?

by watching me.

so today, i resolve to live the dreams i have for her, in front of her.

or try, as much as i can, every day.

because goodness, i want to teach her well.

love.

little bits of lately.

it feels as if we've been laying low and staying really busy all at the same time. but i think that might just be a new part of normal life with two little ones.

and, likewise, pretty much all of the snapshots i've gotten are of them, as well. :)

they are growing so quickly. coen is talking more and more (finally!) and his little personality is so funny. norah is out of control. she is huge, and is determined to be fully mobile as soon as possible (and by that, i mean soon). she loves her brother. and her daddy. and her toys. 

and her cat. he, on the other hand, is still mad that she exists. oh well.

becoming a family of four has brought its share of challenges, exhaustion, emotions and adjusting. but it has brought so much more that is good. we are reminded so often of the kindness of god when we peer into these smiling little faces. we can't help but swell with joy when we see our blessings before us--and how far he has brought us.

how grateful we are that we stand here today, and can attest to god's mercy and faithfulness in such a precious way.

love.

overwhelmed.

"rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. do not quench the spirit."

 - 1 thessalonians 5:16-19 

you're never done growing.

i know this far from being a new concept, but it's a fresh reminder for me today.

there has been a battle waging in my heart these past few days..
a tugging.
a battle.

between self.
selfishness versus selflessness.

at times, i feel a little crazy. 

i bounce between thankfulness and thanklessness.

sometimes within the same breath.

speaking truth to myself in the midst of a struggle is not something i'm very good at.

or more accurately, actually listening to the truth i'm spewing at myself more often than not is a weakness i still have.

still, i have been overwhelmed by how blessed i am. over and over. because, i forget.
so incredibly blessed.

by our little family.

with two healthy children.
in our little house.
full of more things than we need.
full of healthy food for us to eat.
and so full of love.

what more do i need?

and yet, it's just not enough. more than i'd like to admit.

so, what more do i need?

i need the holy spirit. 

to breathe life into my bones.
to call me to the Word and to meditate on its promises that can satisfy like nothing else.
to turn this heart back into clay, when the dry air of life starts to harden it into stone once more.
to remind me of the cross.

so that extending grace is my first response.
because i see all the grace extended to me.

grace that i didn't deserve.
that i don't deserve.

but by God's kindness, is mine.

so today, will you life me up in prayer?
i want this desire to be my reality.

before the goodness of this life gobbles up my attention once again.

because this good is not the greatest.
this temporal is not eternal.

this life will not in itself satisfy.

and that, my friends, is just fine by me.

love. 

three.

today we say happy birthday to our three year old. this little boy is amazing. he is compassionate, funny, full of energy--so much energy--and fills our lives with so much love. he has already proved to be a fantastic big brother (and gets enough smiles from little miss to prove it). and, despite his lack of words, he is quite the dramatic communicator. 

what a sweet, sweet boy God has blessed us with.

we are so grateful that he is ours. 

what a joy it is to be his parents. 

love. 

the last days of one.

i have less than three weeks till my due date. when did that happen?

i've had a hard time grasping that it's almost over. it's been a flurry of nausea, toddler life and holiday busyness amidst already full lives. and now here we are, quickly approaching our first meeting with baby girl.

but i want to remember this time. 

because no matter how exhausting, discouraging or emotional pregnancy can be (and motherhood for that matter), it is that much more incredible. and it is one that i feel so blessed to be able experience.

there is something so special about the time shared between a mother and her unborn child. and there is something equally special about those last few days, when little ones are still your only ones. before they suddenly grow overnight, in comparison to the new arrival. and i want to savor as much of it as i can.

i want to remember how well coen cared for me while i was so sick or sore--making sure i was okay by covering me up with blankets, whispering to me in his little language and patting my face.

i want to remember how extra-active baby girl is compared to her brother. how her little feet and legs can be felt so clearly through my skin as they fight for more room. how she already has such a personality. how quickly she's become a part of our family.

i asked my sister-n-law if she would take some maternity photos, and i'm so glad that i did. i've never been a huge fan of maternity shoots. while i love the idea, most of them just aren't my style. but thanks to pinterest, i was given hope, and missy graciously agreed.

and oh my goodness, i love them. here are a few of my favorites.

so this part of my attempt to remember the little things. the last days of having one. the first days of a whole new season.

i want to remember this, and one day be able to share what joy these children have brought me so early on.

because i already love them both fiercely.

love.

*photo credit: photography by melissa joy. be sure to check her out. :)

blessed (by you).

when i was a little girl, i used to love making new friends.

i was a dancer then. not a real dancer, but a wear tappy dress shoes everywhere and pretend i knew how to tap-dance dancer. i danced everywhere. especially up and down the grocery store isles. after my performances, i would bask in the applause of random old women. then, i would turn to my mother and say,

mommy, all my friends love me.

i wasn't full of myself (though i really did think i was a fantastic dancer). i just honestly thought i had made new friends. & that they loved me. & i loved them.

fast forward 25+ years.

i have been overwhelmed by the love & care shown to our little family during the past few years of sickness & hardship. by the community of friends & fellow believers that has helped sustain us. encourage us. edify us. for them, i am so very thankful.

because of them, i have learned even more deeply what it means to be, and have, friends.

and now, there's you. the countless friends & readers that have reached into my life & touched me in such a profound way. you have encouraged me. you have prayed for us.

you have become a part of my life.

for that, i want to say thank you. for listening to my ramblings & my heart. without judgement, instead with love & encouragement. it has blessed me immensely, knowing that you care enough to read about all the lord is doing in our lives.

well, friends. now it's my turn. i want to know who you are. i want to be able to spend time in prayer for you. i want to thank God for each of you. for your time spent caring for & thinking of me. of our family that has been through so much. that has been held up by the prayers of the saints.

so please, take a minute. leave a comment. tell me who you are. 

whether i have heard from you or not (some of you are so very faithful to comment--thank you!), i want to hear from you now. whether you are new here, or have been with me since the beginning (when i constantly forgot about you). whether you are family, old friends, new friends, or could-be friends. i want you to know how thankful i am for you.

i want to return the favor, ever so much.

much, much love.